Why this blog?

Welcome! Thank you for visiting my blog!

This is my medical and recreational blogsite. Some of the entries on this blog are honest and quite vulnerable, as I wrote them at my lowest point. I try to keep a positive outlook on life, because no one wants to hang out with a downer, including me. Writing these entries has allowed me to see the world through a beneficial filter that allows me to appreciate every moment I have been able to experience in my life, even the difficult ones.

My husband Matthew and I LIVE when we can. I mean we suck the juice out of life, and we aren't ashamed of that outlook. It makes the bad times ok somehow because we took advantage when we were able. The pictures on this blog are part of that. I take pretty pictures of my sick body to boost my self esteem when I am having a difficult time seeing myself as a woman instead of a sick person. It is how I cope with my illness, and no one gets to judge how you survive your difficulties. So live on, and feed your souls.

Watch our story here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG_mrDJ10LM&feature=youtu.be


~ Tonia

I have decided to relaunch my Facebook Page, The Beauty in Illness. Along with the help of two other rare patient advocates, we are hoping to include artistic stories of struggle and perseverence through creative ways. Please check us out and let us know if you would like to contribute!




Hospital Me THEN (2012)

Hospital Me THEN (2012)
Dance like no one is watching!

Hospital me NOW (2015)

Hospital me NOW (2015)
Dance like EVERYONE'S watching

Post Transplant-1 Year (March 2014)

Post Transplant-1 Year (March 2014)
Mi Amor Studio

Pre Dialysis Pinup Shoot (2012)

Pre Dialysis Pinup Shoot (2012)
Dynamite Dames

Mid Dialysis Boudoir (March 2013)

Mid Dialysis Boudoir (March 2013)
100 pounds, and a week from transplant, chest tube tucked into bra like a lady. ;)

Non-Pinup Me Now (2015)

Non-Pinup Me Now (2015)
This girl has four kidneys

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Yes, there are four!

The one thing I have noticed that people have asked me the most is what happened to my other kidneys.  Did they take them out?  The answer is NO.  I still have all the other kidneys.

So that means I have my own two native kidneys (I believe I called them Mitsy and Ditsy), my Mom's kidney (she named her Aurelia), and now Matthew's kidney named Apollo.  Mom's kidney is in my pelvis on the right and Matthew's kidney is a little higher in my belly on the left.  They are pretty close to the surface of my belly so they are much more exposed than native kidneys are.  

The surgeons don't like to take kidneys out unless they cause problems like cancer or tumors or some kind of infection that can spread to other organs.  Dead kidneys shrink and shrivel up like raisins.  I have been told that they can put as many as three transplanted kidneys in a torso.  I kinda hope this doesn't happen for me.  I can do without the larger waistline.  If that makes me vain then so be it.  Who wants to look perpetually pregnant?  Not me!

In other news, Matthew and his parents left Chicago today for Oklahoma.  We had a tearful goodbye.  It will only be a few days but we haven't been apart for quite some time.  Mom and I are leaving Monday to go back to Iowa.  So this is a bit of an anxious weekend for me. I just want it all to be over.  Three more days and I can breathe a little easier.




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