Why this blog?

Welcome! Thank you for visiting my blog!

This is my medical and recreational blogsite. Some of the entries on this blog are honest and quite vulnerable, as I wrote them at my lowest point. I try to keep a positive outlook on life, because no one wants to hang out with a downer, including me. Writing these entries has allowed me to see the world through a beneficial filter that allows me to appreciate every moment I have been able to experience in my life, even the difficult ones.

My husband Matthew and I LIVE when we can. I mean we suck the juice out of life, and we aren't ashamed of that outlook. It makes the bad times ok somehow because we took advantage when we were able. The pictures on this blog are part of that. I take pretty pictures of my sick body to boost my self esteem when I am having a difficult time seeing myself as a woman instead of a sick person. It is how I cope with my illness, and no one gets to judge how you survive your difficulties. So live on, and feed your souls.

Watch our story here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG_mrDJ10LM&feature=youtu.be


~ Tonia

I have decided to relaunch my Facebook Page, The Beauty in Illness. Along with the help of two other rare patient advocates, we are hoping to include artistic stories of struggle and perseverence through creative ways. Please check us out and let us know if you would like to contribute!




Hospital Me THEN (2012)

Hospital Me THEN (2012)
Dance like no one is watching!

Hospital me NOW (2015)

Hospital me NOW (2015)
Dance like EVERYONE'S watching

Post Transplant-1 Year (March 2014)

Post Transplant-1 Year (March 2014)
Mi Amor Studio

Pre Dialysis Pinup Shoot (2012)

Pre Dialysis Pinup Shoot (2012)
Dynamite Dames

Mid Dialysis Boudoir (March 2013)

Mid Dialysis Boudoir (March 2013)
100 pounds, and a week from transplant, chest tube tucked into bra like a lady. ;)

Non-Pinup Me Now (2015)

Non-Pinup Me Now (2015)
This girl has four kidneys

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Writing the Show!

Matthew is out of town for three weeks and I am filling my days with aerial silks, pole dancing, writing an article about intimacy on the stage, and working on my play.  Also I am trying to get some of this damned prednisone weight to fall off of me.  I weigh 139 (I was 115 in the red satin sheet pics).  UGH.  And I eat about 1200 calories a day!  It's insanity!  But my butt is looking pretty awesome I must say.  The only problem is the huge bulge that is the FOUR KIDNEYS in my abdomen.  Stop, I know.  Yes I am happy to be healthy.  So happy.  An hourglass figure would make me even happier though, you know!  :-))))))))))))))))

Anyway...

So if I haven't mentioned, I will be directing a play in early October at the University of Oklahoma.  I have been writing bits of it for a little while, but a colleague of mine, Erin Crossley, is helping me streamline it now.  She is a former student of mine from Oklahoma City University and she always loved movement as much as I do.  I am happy to have the help too, because she has a great eye and knows my aesthetic better than anyone.

The play is about this.  It's about all of this.  It is going to portray a woman going through the struggles of disease and falling in love in the meantime.  Most of my work has no dialogue but I think this one will contain some monologues, possible voice overs that just might be taken from this very blog.  I love turning life into art, and using struggles to help others.  Even if it just moves them for a minute. 

I have to admit it is difficult writing a piece about myself.  It feels slightly narcissistic.  But I think it is a good story that needs to be told.  Erin is helping me keep it universal so it doesn't get too personal. It should not be something that only people who know me can understand.  But I am loving the process of discovering it.

I am hoping to include some aspects of boudoir in the show as well, of course.  Mainly because just like this blog, no one wants to hear about just medical stuff when you can see sexy things at the same time.  Ok, maybe that's how I feel.  

But there are great things in the mix coming up.  I am going to try to involve this blog more in the writing process.  So keep checking in, Sweet Friends!


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