Why this blog?

Welcome! Thank you for visiting my blog!

This is my medical and recreational blogsite. Some of the entries on this blog are honest and quite vulnerable, as I wrote them at my lowest point. I try to keep a positive outlook on life, because no one wants to hang out with a downer, including me. Writing these entries has allowed me to see the world through a beneficial filter that allows me to appreciate every moment I have been able to experience in my life, even the difficult ones.

My husband Matthew and I LIVE when we can. I mean we suck the juice out of life, and we aren't ashamed of that outlook. It makes the bad times ok somehow because we took advantage when we were able. The pictures on this blog are part of that. I take pretty pictures of my sick body to boost my self esteem when I am having a difficult time seeing myself as a woman instead of a sick person. It is how I cope with my illness, and no one gets to judge how you survive your difficulties. So live on, and feed your souls.

Watch our story here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG_mrDJ10LM&feature=youtu.be


~ Tonia

I have decided to relaunch my Facebook Page, The Beauty in Illness. Along with the help of two other rare patient advocates, we are hoping to include artistic stories of struggle and perseverence through creative ways. Please check us out and let us know if you would like to contribute!




Hospital Me THEN (2012)

Hospital Me THEN (2012)
Dance like no one is watching!

Hospital me NOW (2015)

Hospital me NOW (2015)
Dance like EVERYONE'S watching

Post Transplant-1 Year (March 2014)

Post Transplant-1 Year (March 2014)
Mi Amor Studio

Pre Dialysis Pinup Shoot (2012)

Pre Dialysis Pinup Shoot (2012)
Dynamite Dames

Mid Dialysis Boudoir (March 2013)

Mid Dialysis Boudoir (March 2013)
100 pounds, and a week from transplant, chest tube tucked into bra like a lady. ;)

Non-Pinup Me Now (2015)

Non-Pinup Me Now (2015)
This girl has four kidneys

Monday, February 25, 2013

Mom

On this particular night, I think I need to take a minute to talk about someone else who I want to make sure isn't forgotten.

My mother.

Eleonora Pagura, my mom, gave me my first kidney in 2005.  She gave me life, first of all, but then she gave me seven years, four months and about two weeks of non-dialysis living in my 20's.  This is a gift that I will never forget or downplay.  Even though my blood disease caused her amazing kidney to fail inside me, she bravely took this challenge on without a hint of fear.  Most of my courage comes from her.  She is an epic person to me, and I just want to make sure that in all of this new excitement she isn't forgotten or overlooked.

Mom, thank you for my late twenties and early thirties.  You gave me countless parties, late nights, and dance classes.  You gave me energy to do my thesis and start the beginning of my career.  You gave me time to enjoy amazing food and alcohol that I loved experiencing and days I could spend with friends.  You gave me late night talks in theaters and loud dangerous dance clubs afterwards.  You gave me the ability to travel to Italy and meet the amazing family we have there.  Your kidney allowed me to be healthy enough to marry Matthew and dance all that night, and you helped me be the kind of woman he would want to spend his life with enough to experience the very thing you did... just to save me.

For all of this I will forever be thankful to you.  Your gift was the most important of my life, and I will always have a piece of you.  That means so much to me.

I love you, Mom.

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