Another show come and gone

This weekend I made a return to the stage.  The last time I was in a show was the summer of 2009, before I got sick.  I played two relatively small roles.  The last large role was in 2006 as Lala in Last Night of Ballyhoo.  Acting in Oklahoma had become sparse for a woman who looks 20 but was nearly 30. 

Last night I had the privilege of performing in a one act called Sleepwalkers with Joe Dougherty as my partner.  The show was a modern dance performance called, What's Love Got To Do With It?  Joe had played Matthew in Dancing in the Storm, ironically.  When I signed on to the project I didn't know how intimate and physical it was going to be, but it evolved and we made it more realistic than it had ever been performed.  

Also, we were the first actors to ever memorize the script.  It was originally performed in the 60's at OU.  The playwright, Skip Largent (who I met last night at the performance) updated it throughout the years.  It is the single most difficult script I have ever memorized.  It reads as a poem, and the lines overlap as we finish each other sentences.  So the partners are completely dependent on each other.  If one of us got lost, the other did too.  It was a fantastic exercise in partnering and trust.  

I am sorry we only had two performances, because I think shows hit their stride after the second performance.  Last night felt great, and I am sad it is already over. 

My body cooperated with me for the first time I can remember.  It stayed healthy and strong, even under stress.  My partner caught a cold that I didn't catch, even though we were kissing all week.  I think I am actually starting to develop a trust with my body I have never owned before.   I became so used to expecting it to fail miserably when it came down to something I really wanted to do.  My illness has prevented me from performing, teaching, directing, and  even from attending weddings, reunions, and funerals.  It just might be that I am beginning expect success instead of body betrayal.  That, to me, is the most amazing part of all of this.  

This is only the beginning.  I see myself coming back to life, and I am beginning to let go of all of the struggles of the past, while remaining optimistic of the future.  Not just optimistic, excited and freaking pumped!