Out of my hands.
Everything.
My body
My life
My sex
My choices
My career
My husband
I see a gorgeous mountain scene in front of me, with a
pretty babbling stream and a great off-road trail. The sun is shining and the breeze is soft and perfect. I am ready to put the car into
gear. But I can’t get over this
stupid first crack in the pavement.
Imagine knowing everything you want to happen 20 steps ahead
of where you are, but you can’t get anyone else to help you get there. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE SEEM TO SEE HOW URGENTLY I NEED HELP??!!
I just need a transplant. I just need that kidney inside me. It sleeps next to me every night, tucked inside the
person I love more than anything.
He protects it for me, keeping it safe for the day I will be able to
take it and begin dancing again.
It is so close to me, but a universe away from helping me feel any
better.
Breathe...
I have him.
And he is worth it. What we
will be is worth what we have to go through now to get to it. At least we had this summer. What a great summer it was. I spent all summer in the city with Matthew. And it was my favorite.
(Again, coming back and reading this entry, I sounded like a psycho. Its like I was about to cut him open and steal it myself. This disease is crazy)
(Again, coming back and reading this entry, I sounded like a psycho. Its like I was about to cut him open and steal it myself. This disease is crazy)
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