Why this blog?

Welcome! Thank you for visiting my blog!

This is my medical and recreational blogsite. Some of the entries on this blog are honest and quite vulnerable, as I wrote them at my lowest point. I try to keep a positive outlook on life, because no one wants to hang out with a downer, including me. Writing these entries has allowed me to see the world through a beneficial filter that allows me to appreciate every moment I have been able to experience in my life, even the difficult ones.

My husband Matthew and I LIVE when we can. I mean we suck the juice out of life, and we aren't ashamed of that outlook. It makes the bad times ok somehow because we took advantage when we were able. The pictures on this blog are part of that. I take pretty pictures of my sick body to boost my self esteem when I am having a difficult time seeing myself as a woman instead of a sick person. It is how I cope with my illness, and no one gets to judge how you survive your difficulties. So live on, and feed your souls.

Watch our story here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG_mrDJ10LM&feature=youtu.be


~ Tonia

I have decided to relaunch my Facebook Page, The Beauty in Illness. Along with the help of two other rare patient advocates, we are hoping to include artistic stories of struggle and perseverence through creative ways. Please check us out and let us know if you would like to contribute!




Hospital Me THEN (2012)

Hospital Me THEN (2012)
Dance like no one is watching!

Hospital me NOW (2015)

Hospital me NOW (2015)
Dance like EVERYONE'S watching

Post Transplant-1 Year (March 2014)

Post Transplant-1 Year (March 2014)
Mi Amor Studio

Pre Dialysis Pinup Shoot (2012)

Pre Dialysis Pinup Shoot (2012)
Dynamite Dames

Mid Dialysis Boudoir (March 2013)

Mid Dialysis Boudoir (March 2013)
100 pounds, and a week from transplant, chest tube tucked into bra like a lady. ;)

Non-Pinup Me Now (2015)

Non-Pinup Me Now (2015)
This girl has four kidneys

Sunday, August 25, 2013

The show is cast!

So I have a cast for the show, and we start rehearsals Monday.  I am really excited and a little nervous.  We have a lot to devise, but it's going to be a blast.

That last post triggered a huge response from people I consider friends, most of them former students that I love.  It is amazing to me that some of the friends and "family" I thought I had are actually not friends at all.  This isn't the first time in my life that something like this has happened to me.  In the past I have been hugely betrayed by people I considered friends when I was at my lowest.  I find there is a lot of fear in Oklahoma.  And it is fear that leads people to refuse to stand up for what they know is right. 

I feel sorry for those people, but I can't and won't live my life in fear.  Matthew and I have felt that Oklahoma just doesn't want us here for quite some time.  At first it seemed like just a stream of bad luck, but now I see that there are hateful people here that actually wish that we would just disappear even after telling us to our faces how happy they are that we are doing so well.  I couldn't imagine being so cruel and two-faced.  What sad people they must be.

This show is going to be even more poetic than I was expecting.  It seems we are always dancing in some kind of storm.  I'm getting used to it I think.  We have come to love the rain, as long as we have each other. 



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