Opening Night

It is late.  I just got home from our second and last day in the space our show will go up in tomorrow.  

It's beautiful.  The show is beautiful.  I find myself watching and forgetting to take notes sometimes because I can't believe it is finished.  I remember when I wrote the very first piece for this show, the transplant scene.  I choreographed it while I was waiting for the phone call from the Iowa doctors to tell me we could go ahead with Matthew's kidney.  I would play the song over and over and imagine how overwhelming it would feel to get the go ahead call.  Every time I listened to the song I cried.  I couldn't help it.  I even tried describing it to a couple of students once and realized there were tears in my eyes as I was telling them what was in my head.  I imagined how amazing it would be to be healthy enough to actually direct that scene after living it. 

So you could imagine this show is the most personal thing I have ever created.  And the ensemble..

Tonight the ensemble surprised me.  We hadn't choreographed the curtain call yet, and we had just gotten through the last scene.  It went to black out and when the lights came up, the entire cast was onstage.  They had choreographed their own mini movement piece with Erin and Aly while I was out of town last weekend.  I can't even describe it because just like movement I can't do it justice.  All I can say is that it was beautiful, I was crying like a baby, and it took my breath away for quite some time.

So of course I adapted their piece into the curtain call.  I love it.  It's half theirs, half mine.  Ok, mostly theirs.  But it's great.  

I don't have words to express to them how grateful I am, but words never were my strongest suit.  I have loved watching them grow in this process.  That's always my favorite part of any show.  This one is special though.  The choreography speaks for itself, and all I can do now is hand the show over and step back.  Opening night is the saddest and most beautiful part to me.   Suddenly my job is finished and I don't get to play anymore, but at the same time I get to watch the actors experience sharing all their hard work with the audience.   It's the beginning and the end, and I love and hate it. 

So tomorrow we find out what the rest of the world thinks of Dancing in the Storm.  No matter what, this has been one of the most rewarding shows to work on for me.  I am ready to share it.  With this production I send any negative lingering feelings I have left from my illness into the universe to transform into nothing but beauty, grace, and of course, 

movement.