No more donations

I am not sure if anyone noticed, but I recently removed the paypal donation button on the right of this page.  

Matthew and I want to thank everyone who donated to our medical expenses.  It was so helpful, we cannot express.  Your donations have helped us to travel to and from Iowa and Chicago, purchase medicines, pay our copays and deductibles, and generally feel very loved and supported throughout our whole ordeal.  We can't thank you enough.

From now on, if you feel you have extra money you want to donate to someone, find another sick friend and buy them dinner.  They appreciate it, even if they don't have much of an appetite.  Being sick feels very isolating, and the best think you can do as a friend to a sick person is make sure they know they aren't disappearing.  Thanks to all of you, I felt very visible.  That is going to be present in the play that I am writing. 

You have probably noticed that I don't mention religion or God much in this blog.  Some find it outlandish that I am not religious after all that I have been through.  But I truly believe in the power and love of people.  Humans.  I am a humanist.  Instead of thanking a God for giving me my life back, I thank the surgeons who went to school all their lives to be the best at what they do and for taking my case on.  I thank my husband who decided to risk a lot to give a part of himself to make me whole.  I thank all of you, atheists and deists alike, who have supported and loved us throughout this whole process and continue to offer support in any shape or form.  I believe it was up to people to make those choices, and I feel very connected to them.  

If I have to thank a God for the good times, that means I also have to be exasperated and angered about the years and years of bad stuff he sent my way.  I am not interested in that kind of negativity.  If he works through people, then great.  I see those people and I spend my energy thanking them directly.  There have been some great things that have come out of this illness, and to me it is the connections to people across the world that I cherish the most.

We all get through the tough times any way we can.  I don't judge anyone for loving and needing their religions.  Human interaction, chemistry, and love is my religion.  I base my career on it, and my life as well.  So thank you all for being here.