Why this blog?

Welcome! Thank you for visiting my blog!

This is my medical and recreational blogsite. Some of the entries on this blog are honest and quite vulnerable, as I wrote them at my lowest point. I try to keep a positive outlook on life, because no one wants to hang out with a downer, including me. Writing these entries has allowed me to see the world through a beneficial filter that allows me to appreciate every moment I have been able to experience in my life, even the difficult ones.

My husband Matthew and I LIVE when we can. I mean we suck the juice out of life, and we aren't ashamed of that outlook. It makes the bad times ok somehow because we took advantage when we were able. The pictures on this blog are part of that. I take pretty pictures of my sick body to boost my self esteem when I am having a difficult time seeing myself as a woman instead of a sick person. It is how I cope with my illness, and no one gets to judge how you survive your difficulties. So live on, and feed your souls.

Watch our story here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG_mrDJ10LM&feature=youtu.be


~ Tonia

I have decided to relaunch my Facebook Page, The Beauty in Illness. Along with the help of two other rare patient advocates, we are hoping to include artistic stories of struggle and perseverence through creative ways. Please check us out and let us know if you would like to contribute!




Hospital Me THEN (2012)

Hospital Me THEN (2012)
Dance like no one is watching!

Hospital me NOW (2015)

Hospital me NOW (2015)
Dance like EVERYONE'S watching

Post Transplant-1 Year (March 2014)

Post Transplant-1 Year (March 2014)
Mi Amor Studio

Pre Dialysis Pinup Shoot (2012)

Pre Dialysis Pinup Shoot (2012)
Dynamite Dames

Mid Dialysis Boudoir (March 2013)

Mid Dialysis Boudoir (March 2013)
100 pounds, and a week from transplant, chest tube tucked into bra like a lady. ;)

Non-Pinup Me Now (2015)

Non-Pinup Me Now (2015)
This girl has four kidneys

Monday, November 4, 2013

New Project!

I have been so busy, I have forgotten to blog about this!

I am performing in a show this weekend.  It is called, "What's Love Got To Do With It?"  It is being produced and directed by Austin Hartel, the modern dance professor at OU.  He is also one of the original members of Pilobolus, which I studied in my thesis.  It inspired so much of what I do now.  I am so excited about doing this show.  

My scene is slightly sexual in nature.  I have to kiss and have simulated sex on stage, which isn't scary to me of course.  However, choreographing and performing are two different things.  I feel really good about it though.  My partner, Joe, is fantastic to work with, and we have had a lot of fun with the script.  It is the first time I have performed since 2009.  It just feels so good to be on stage again.  Hopefully it will lead to more roles.

After this show, I am working on the remount of Dancing in the Storm.  I need to write a few more scenes, which I am thrilled about.  I think I will try to add the first transplant this time.  And maybe some more oompf to the transplant.  Who knows?  I am just excited to do it again.

Also, I have a bunch of photo shoots coming up.  One of them is for the University of Iowa.  They want to use the story linked above and need some more pictures of me and some with Matthew.  I am so excited about it.  I am also doing a Christmas pin-up shoot as well.  eeeeeeeee!

It is funny how many doors have opened since the show closed.  I launched my new website, www.toniasina.com and already I am scheduling workshops and shows for spring and 2014.  It's funny.  Nothing motivates me more than people trying to hold me back.  I am sure everyone is like that, but for me it launches me so much farther then I ever expect.  I just feel so excited for the future opportunities coming up.

On a sadder note, there was a girl at the aHUS dinner and talkback last week that has similar health problems as I did.  She hasn't been confirmed aHUS yet, but it looks very close.  I saw in her eyes the frustration and sadness I felt once, and my heart goes out to her.  I know what rock bottom feels like, and she doesn't even have the energy to be mad any more.  She has a wonderful family support system though, and I know they will get her through this.  Hopefully she checks out this blog (which of course I gave her) and gets some ideas from it.  After all, that's mostly why it is here!


So many doors opening!










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